Much Ado About Nothing
by StarsAndSparks44
Summary: When you're in the Brotherhood, it isn't simply a test of survival against the X-Geeks, Mystique, or Wanda; It's a test of sanity.
1. Mornings

Much Ado About Nothing

**Summary:** When you're in the Brotherhood, it isn't simply a test of survival against the X-Geeks, Mystique, or Wanda; It's a test of sanity.

**Note: **After reliving my favourite childhood show, this story just begged to be written. I mean, come on - the Brotherhood is just one endless opportunity for humour!

I don't own Lance and his Merry Mutants...I mean the Brotherhood.

* * *

Chapter 1: Mornings:

Lance Alvers didn't like mornings. Most people didn't, really, but him especially. Each time that damn alarm clock started ringing in Pietro's room at exactly seven oh-two, it woke him up, too. But that was Pietro's style – if he had to suffer, you'd better bet that everyone around him would suffer, too.

Sitting up, Lance took a deep breath and proceeded to shake the house down, almost literally. Hearing a loud groan from Freddy's room and an embarrassingly girly scream followed by a thump from Toad's, he let himself relax, grinning slightly. Hey, maybe Pietro was right; misery _**did **_love company.

Feeling much better about the morning already, Lance walked out of his room with a towel strung over his shoulder, whistling a tune Kitty had taught him the night before. Some sort famous jazz song, she'd said. Truthfully he didn't really care, but it sounded cool and he wanted to show her he'd learned how to whistle it. It was one of those things he loved to do, just to see the expression on her face when he told her.

Passing Toad's door, Lance dodged the blob of slime that came hurtling towards him out of force of habit than any real sense of danger. After all, slime was just slime and he was about to take a shower anyways. Hearing the muffled mix of swearing and threats from inside the room, Lance guessed that Toad realized that, too.

Reaching the bathroom, he frowned. Standing in front of him was Princess Pietro himself, tapping his foot impatiently outside the door. Rolling his eyes, Lance stomped up to the door, grabbed Pietro by the shoulder, and spun him around.

"Listen up, I need a shower, and if you get the bathroom first you'll be in there all morning. So get out of my way," Lance snapped, bracing himself for the royal bitching he was about to receive. Speeding out from under Lance's hand, Pietro rolled his eyes.

"Oh yeah? Well I think the rule in this house is you snooze you loose, and you definitively snoozed here!" he taunted, grinning in front of the door. Narrowing his eyes, Lance raised his fists. The ground rumbled, but Pietro only laughed.

"Wacha gonna do, sink me? As if. Hey, guess what I found," he added brightly, before taking off in a flash of blue and silver down the hallway. Coming back in about half a second, Pietro grinned evilly, holding up a small picture frame.

Eyes widening, Lance couldn't help but blush. It was a picture of himself and Kitty at the beach, her wrapped up in his jacket and splashing him with water. It was private, it was personal, and Lance had been pretty sure none of the Brotherhood knew about. Apparently, he'd underestimated Pietro's ability to get dirt on _**anyone**_.

"Looks like you snoozed again," Pietro laughed, making kissy faces at the picture. "Lance and Kitty, sitting on the beach, F-U–"

"Shut up and give that back, asshole!" Lance yelled, lunging forwards and tackling Pietro, still laughing, to the ground. This was a fight beyond powers – this was a fight to prove his manliness. Pietro didn't really seem to care, and for a while they rolled around on the floor, trying to get the upper hand on each other. Lance had the advantage of size, but Pietro was quick as a snake, so it was a fairly even fight.

They were both so wrapped up in their fight that they didn't notice Freddy walk out of the bathroom, give them a look, and continue on his way. He'd seen stranger things, after all. Walking back into his bedroom the Blob laid down, closing his eyes. He may not be smart, but even he could tell what was going to happen.

A couple minutes later the next door down the hallway creaked open. Toad stumbled out, yawning and rubbing his eye. Freaking Lance and his earthquakes, woke him up too damn early. Shuffling slowly down the hallway, he passed his two teammates – still battling to the death – walked into the bathroom, and closed the door.

Lance and Pietro both froze when they heard the slam. Jumping up from where they'd been fighting, they listened in disbelief to the sound of grumbling and running water floating through the thin walls of the bathroom. Glancing at one another in slight panic, they both ran towards it.

"TOAD! What the hell man?" Lance yelled, hammering on the peeling wood. If he'd needed a shower before his fight with Pietro, he _**really **_needed one now.

"Yeah, get out so we can get ready for school!" Pietro whined, fingering his limp hair pathetically, "it'll take me twice as long now, thanks to Lance!"

Turning to face Pietro, Lance opened his mouth to shout back an insult when the door flew open, hitting Pietro in the foot and Lance in the knee. Clutching his burning patella and swearing, Lance looked up – only to get an eye-full of Toad, dripping wet and hunched up under a giant towel.

"Goddamn yo, can't a guy take 'is monthly shower wid'out gettin' harassed for it?" he snapped, before slamming the door closed behind him. For a few moments, Pietro and Lance just stood there, not quite sure wether they ought to beat Toad senseless, or return to their fight. Finally, Pietro ran a hand through his hair with a dramatic sigh.

"Well, I'm going back to bed," he decided, before turning around and running back to his room. Shaking his head, Lance let out a loud groan. Apparently he'd have to wait until the next day to show Kitty his whistling. Looking down, he picked up the picture frame – undamaged, thank god – and walked slowly back to his room.

He didn't wake up again until he heard Toad yelling something about knocking before entering, followed by Pietro squealing about webbed feet.

Lance decided that it was probably a better idea just not to ask.

* * *

Well, there's chapter one of what I hope will turn out to be a series of short little ficlets about the Brotherhood that (hopefully) make you smile, at least a little. Chapter 2's done, but I want to see if anyone is actually interested in this story before I continue it.

Ciao,

StarsAndSparks44


	2. Curiosity

Much Ado About Nothing

**Summary: **When you're in the Brotherhood, it isn't simply a test of survival against the X-Geeks, Mystique, or Wanda; It's a test of sanity.

**Note:** Alright, my reviews from chapter 1 (all two of them :P) convinced me that I ought to continue on with this series of ficlets, so here's chapter 2 - hopefully as well-liked as the first one :)

I don't own the Brotherhood, or X-Men: Evolution - I do, however, own all of the childhood memories that follow both

* * *

Chapter 2: Curiosity:

"Hey, something smells good in here. Wacha cooking?"

"It's a surprise."

"Aw come on, that's not fair!"

"Sorry Pietro, but no one's figuring out until supper time."

"Well if you won't tell me, then I'll see for myself!"

"Nuh uh!"

"Blob you idiot! That was my hand!"

"Hey I'm not an idiot!"

"Yes you are, you're a big, fat tub of stupid!"

"...I'm not telling you what's for supper."

"Seriously? Are you _**serious **_right now?"

"And you won't find out until you apologize."

"...apologize?"

"That's what 'e said, yo. Hey Freddy, we havin' that for dinner? Smells delish'."

"Screw off, slimeball!"

"Yeah, we are. Pietro?"

"Argh, fine. Blob, I'm sorry I called you a fat tub, blahblahblah. Now tell me!"

"...say it like you mean it."

"Are you honestly accusing me, Pietro Maximoff, of not meaning what I said?"

"I'm pretty sure that's what 'e was gettin' at, yo."

"Didn't I tell you to screw off? And fine. Blob, I'm very, very sorry I insulted you."

"Thanks, Pietro. I'm still not telling you."

"WHAT?"

"Would you thee idiots shut up? I'm trying to talk on the phone!"

"Talkin' ta Sweet Ass again? Tell her I'm lookin' forwards to our next date, yo!"

"Toad, I swear, if you take one more crack at Kitty I'll bring this whole house down on top of you!"

"What's the matter Lance, we're just appreciating your girlfriend's fine posterior."

"Pietro, once I get my hands on you..."

"As if you could!"

"Wanna bet?"

"Fight's on, yo!"

"Kitty, I'm gonna have to call you back. Speedy's looking for an ass-kicking."

"As if you could Rock-head! I'll run _**circles **_around you. _**Literally!**_"

"Oh, I'm sooo scared. Did you hear that guys? Pietro's gonna _**run!**_ Maybe he'll even scratch me with his nails!"

"Lance, you are so dead!"

"Sorry yo, but I'm puttin' my bets on Avalanche."

"You traitor!"

"Traitor? You callin' me a traitor, Quick?

"Maybe I am!"

"Aiight, the Toad is _**so **_in on this fight!"

"Hey, guys?"

"WHAT?"

"Supper's ready."

"Oh, um ok...fight after dinner?"

"Sound good to me."

"Ditto, bro."

"Alright then, last one to the table gets ganged up on!"

"Pietro, that ain't fair!"

"Oi Toad, get your tongue off me!"

"Stop shoving!"

"Hey!"

It was moments like these when Freddy was glad his spaghetti was so good; it shut those three up.

* * *

So, that ends this ficlet - I won't lie when I say it's inspired by real-life :P Hopefully you guys found it somewhat amusing; if you did, please leave a review!

Ciao,

StarsAndSparks44


	3. Support

Much Ado About Nothing

**Summary: **When you're in the Brotherhood, it isn't simply a test of survival against the X-Geeks, Mystique, or Wanda; It's a test of sanity.

**Note:** Well, it sure has been a while since I've even glanced at this particular fic! It's amazing how a quick trip through your documents folder can get ideas going again :P. Either way, this story turned out a lot more friendship-y than funny, so hopefully that bodes well with you, The Audience. And if not, well then here's hoping you give it a chance regardless. Please enjoy!

I do not, infact, own X-Men Evolution. Trust me, I don't.

* * *

Chapter 3: Support:

"I can't believe she dumped me. And right before Christmas!" Lance winced at the anger in Toad's voice – it sounded as if he were about to burst into half-crazed ranting. Again. Shuffling over on the couch, he placed an awkward hand on his teammate's shoulder.

"Um, if it makes you feel any better, you guys weren't really dating in the first place..." Judging from the look Freddy was giving him, Lance realized quickly that wasn't quite the right thing to say, and backtracked clumsily. "What I meant was, um, Wanda never really _**said **_anything about you two being together...ever..." Lance finished lamely, deciding that now might be a good time to suddenly develop Kitty's powers and sink into the floor.

Daring a glance to his right, Lance winced. Toad was glaring up at him, eyes narrowed. "Our love didn't _**need **_words, jackass!" he just about screamed, pushing Lance's hand off of his shoulder and stomping out of the room. The sound of a door slamming followed quickly.

"Um..." was all Lance could say as Pietro and Freddy both glared at him.

"Avalanche, you are a master with words, an absolute master," Pietro drawled sarcastically, walking over and taking Toad's spot on the couch. "You should give the rest of us lessons." Scowling, Lance shoved Pietro away from him.

"Shut up. I didn't see _**you **_doing anything to help," he snapped, crossing his arms defensively. Shaking his head, Pietro leaned against the arm of the couch, pushing his feet up onto Lance's shoulder.

"That was the sort of situation where doing nothing _**is **_helping, moron," he sighed, ignoring his teammate's yelp of protest as his feet found their way to his cheek.

"How the hell does that work? And get your feet off of me, they reek!" Lance yelled, flopping off of the couch and landing ungracefully on the floor. Pietro let out a squawk of triumph and stretched his legs out across the entire couch, sneering down at his team leader. Hearing the creaking of springs, Lance looked up to see Freddy standing over him, looking menacing with his arms crossed.

"Toad needed to vent," Freddy explained, heaving himself onto the couch. Pietro withdrew his feet quickly, not wanting his legs squashed. Lance could only stare at his teammates. How did they know that? Wasn't _**he **_supposed to be the sensible one? Shaking his head, Lance pushed himself back onto his feet.

"Whatever. I'm gonna deal with this my own way," he told them, forcing his feet in the direction of Toad's room. He **_really_** didn't want to do this, but if that's what it took to prove that he was a good team leader (and therefore able to handle any problems said team had) then he'd do it.

"Toad? Can I come in?" he called hesitantly, adding a quiet 'tap, tap,' on his teammate's bedroom door. For a few seconds Lance didn't hear anything, and for a moment he thought that he might have made it off free and clear. Then, the door creaked open.

"Whadda ya want?" cursing mentally, Lance tried to look as apologetic as possible. Todd gave him a quick once-over, and the crack in the door widened. Trying to fight the urge to clasp his hands over his nose, Lance walked into the room. And he'd thought _**Toad **_smelled bad.

"I need to talk to you about Wanda," he explained, preferring to stand in the middle of the room while Todd retreated to his bed. Looking up, the smaller mutant let out a dry laugh.

"What, didn't get your point 'cross earlier?" he asked, crossing his thin arms tightly. Heaving a mental sigh, Lance made his way across the room, sitting down on his teammate's bed. Todd immediately flinched away from him, and for some reason it made Lance feel...bad. Sort of hurt, like when Kitty turned her back on him when they fought.

"C'mon Toad, you know I didn't mean it like that," he sighed, resting his arms on his knees, "you and I both know I'm lousy with words; why do you think Kitty hangs up on me so much?" he tried joking, but Toad only glared at him.

"Yeah, well at least you _**have **_a girlfriend, asshole!" Lance narrowed his eyes, trying not to feel frustrated. His teammate was going through a rough time; it wouldn't help to cave in his room, too.

"And believe you me, I have no idea how that happened. But that's not the point here – we're talking about Wanda, remember?" Lance sounded calmer than he felt, because the way Toad had whimpered – what sort of villain _**whimpered?**_ – at the mention of Wanda's name made him feel as if he had just been thrown overboard into deep water.

"I did everything for her, man. Everything." The small, broken voice was worse than any of the screaming and yelling Toad had been doing earlier – and it scared Lance more than he liked to admit. Sliding closer, he put an arm around his teammate's bony shoulders. It didn't feel awkward this time.

"Yeah, but Wanda's the type of chick that doesn't want a guy who does everything for her," Lance explained gently, pretending not to notice when Todd's shoulders started to shake. "She's the sort who'll go for the guy who doesn't give a shit about her, and I promise she'll just end up getting screwed in the end. You aren't that guy, obviously. You're the guy who cares so much that it hurts, no matter if the person you care about doesn't give a damn. Right?"

Lance had no idea where the words were coming from – normally he couldn't even understand half of what Kitty said whenever she was talking about her 'feelings,' and here he was sounding like a goddamn therapist! Still, what he was saying seemed to be right, because Toad let out a long breath.

"...It hurts _**bad,**_ 'Lanche. Like my heart's bein' ripped out. An' the worst bit is that you're right. No matter what she says, what she calls me or whatever, I can't stop loving her. Like, I physically _**can't**_. An' I know I sound like a fuckin' fairy sayin' this, but all I wanna do is bury myself an' sob like a fuckin' wreck," he said bitterly, shoulders shaking violently. Sighing quietly, Lance squeezed his teammate's shoulders tighter.

"That's not weak, Todd. Weak's being to scared to let yourself love someone. You're the bravest fucking guy I know, yelling about how much you love Wanda in front of crowds of people. I could never do that, neither could Freddy or Pietro and **_especially_** not Wanda. It may not make you cool, but it's better than being scared of your own goddamn feelings."

Whether he wanted to believe that he was just spewing this stuff to make his teammate feel better, Lance knew what he was saying was hitting awfully close to home. What Kitty always said whenever they fought, the complicated stuff that made him angry and confused, was suddenly starting to make sense...

"Avalanche?" Lance glanced down at his teammate, who was staring at the floor. He could just make up the drops of liquid sliding down his nose.

"Yeah?" he asked, pretty well prepared for anything.

"You sound like one of the X-Geeks, with all that 'feelings' shit. Sweet Ass been givin' you lessons?" Alright, anything except that. Lance pulled his arm away, prepared to bring the house down on top of his teammate. The goddamn _**nerve **_of this guy! Then he noticed Todd's expression, and any anger he felt subsided. There was a smile on the smaller mutant's face, but it was delicate – anything could break it.

So, instead of letting loose an earthquake that would wake anyone within a three mile radius, Lance only smiled wearily, shaking his head. "Maybe I've been listening to her more than I mean to," he chuckled, standing up and heading for the door. His work here was done.

"Wait, Lance–!" Putting up a hand, Lance cut Toad off with a wave. There was no need to say anything else – Lance was done with feelings for now. Either way, he wanted to leave the conversation where it was.

"See you at dinner, Toad," he called, not turning back around as he opened the door, stepped out and closed it quietly behind himself. Feeling pleased with himself, Lance looked up – and immediately noticed Pietro and Freddy both standing in front of him, big grins on their faces.

"Never knew you were so sensitive, Avalanche," Pietro sneered, sprinting away before Lance could even think of a retort. Feeling the good old anger returning, Lance glared up at Freddy, who'd stayed where he was.

"I did what I needed to do, alright?" he snapped, feeling like his old self once again. Instead of agreeing with Pietro, or laughing, or making fun of him, Freddy only shook his head. There was an expression that Lance had never seen before, nor one he could place, on the big mutant's face. Walking by him, Freddy patted him on the shoulder.

"I know," he muttered, and all Lance could do was feel confused. And he thought dealing with _**girls **_was hard.

* * *

Finito, chapter three is done! I must admit that this chapter took a turn for the somber, but I figured that even the Brotherhood deserved a moment of depth. Once again, I'd like to apologize to you, The Audience, for taking so long with writing this chaper; my creative flow was completely staunched until very, very recently. Hopefully, chapter four will be out much quicker because of it!

See you whenever I see you,

StarsAndSparks44


End file.
